Saturday, July 09, 2005
I'm feeling a mixture of melancholia and sadness now, for whatever reason.===============
There was this once, Little Ben walked into this toy store and saw a really really nice toy car. It had really beautiful wheels and nice blue doors. Little Ben was never interested in toy cars, but this toy car was really nice. Little Ben wanted it so much! Then the price tag caught his eye, and it said "$15.00". He set his mind on buying that toy car and so he reached into his pocket for the week's pocket money; his heart thumping against the material of his school uniform, part of him praying hard that he'd have enough money to afford that toy car. He was prepared to forgo lunch for the week just to get that toy car. Just then, Little John came into the shop. Little John was Little Ben's schoolmate, and he was tall, good looking, popular, and most of all, rich. That gorgeous toy car obviously caught Little John's attention too. And so Little John stood looking at the toy car. In less than 5 minutes, Little John called for the shop assistant, paid a 20 dollar bill as if he had an abundance of 20 dollar bills, and walked out of the shop with that toy car happily. Stout Little Ben stood rooted to the ground, filled with jealousy, holding $9.60 in his right hand, watching Little John leave the shop. His left hand was desperately digging into his pocket for more shillings, but to no avail. Little Ben fixed his eyes on the rack again, after Little John disappeared from sight.
But the toy car was no longer there.
"He's bought the last one already! We only had 15 of this limited edition toy car. So you might want to look at other toy cars, my boy?", says the shop assistant.
But Little Ben knows that he'll never like other toy cars anymore.
===============
Sometimes you just don't get the better things in life... but everything's not going well for me. They say, once you've reached the worst part of ur life, it can go no where but upwards. Theoretically speaking this IS sound. but it's the length of the down part of your life that matters.I look back at my life, and i realised that ive accomplished nothing at all. I've never been able to rule a department well, learn music properly, explain things well, lead a life without lies, make good friends, get good grades, perform my duties well, sing, draw, be a good listener, be a responsible councillor. NOTHING at all. I've felt inferior and lousy all my life. I know it's bad but i just can't seem to do anything about it. I cant even organise my thoughts properly and talk to people i wanna talk to. I blabber nonsense like some unserious asshole. So nobody will trust me for the rest of my life. I want to help, but i'm always blamed for helping wrongly.
How many of you really know what i've gone thru in in my teenage years?
All the best for Parent Teacher Meeting. smile.
benny. on 10:35 PM