Sunday, June 26, 2005

Sometimes, you look at a person and you feel that you want to be better friends with him/her.

Sometimes, you feel close to a person, but to him/her the feeling is not even close to mutual.

Sometimes, you're in an event where you have to live with a group of people over a period of time, and you'll want to be the noisy, proactive one who goes around livening everything up. you make a total fool of urself and you try to crack hilarious jokes, act stupid and put up momentary happiness for your group. but at the end of the day, everyone else gets bonded, except you.

Sometimes, people do things like hang out together, and they leave you out. and they say they forgot. but "forgetting" shows how much you really mean to them.

Sometimes people say "hey are you alright, why're u looking so sad", but the next moment they're off having fun, probably forgetting the fact that you're unhappy.

Sometimes, you see a friend in need of something, but you just don't know what. and when you attempt to give him something, you get it all wrong. and your friendship blows, leaving you feeling all stupid.

Sometimes, you think that you have a very wide circle of friends, but ultimately, people see you as nothing more than an entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.

Sometimes, you yearn for friends who trust you with their innermost secrets, but because of your outgoing, noisy nature, people don't see the trustworthy side of you, and you really become a full time entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.

Sometimes when you feel tired of talking, and you keep quiet, people realise there's something wrong with you and they go "eh how come so quiet" because the "entertainer" in them has gone all quiet and they're not used to it. that's probably cos you're supposed to be the full time entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.

Sometimes, a message from a friend brightens your day up, but the next moment you realise that he didnt really mean it cos he forwarded it for the sake of forwarding it.

Sometimes you talk alot to make people laugh, out of the best of intentions. but when it gets slightly overboard, people see you as the main culprit.

Sometimes, you just feel that something like "friendship" is never real, but rather always superficial. because friends do not always respond to your calls and requests as spontaneously as ur mother or father or sister would.

Sometimes you wanna say something very very much, but you just cannot because you know that not saying it would leave the situation or person involved in a position much better off.

Sometimes, you want to hide in the room and cry out loud, but when the room door is locked up and you're all ready to cry, you just feel this sickening sensation that sends you hanging in between crying and not crying.

Sometimes you just know that people are better off with others instead of you, and you feel painfully upset about that. but you never want to do anything cos you just feel inferior.

Sometimes the pain becomes so unbearable...and you wanna call for help. But what recurs in ur thoughts is "Who will care?...", and you scroll down ur phone book aimlessly, meaninglessly.

Yeah, who will care, anyway?

Good luck for your Mid yr exams.