Saturday, November 27, 2004

I seriously dun understand my mum. Last month she told me that I might need to stand in as her promoter at Taka for like once or twice a week from Nov to Dec. so I thought it was ok since it was like onli once or twice each week and shouldn’t clash with any programmes during the holidays. But now?! She demands that I go to Taka every other day when I have no band practices. For god’s sake! Since holidays started I haven’t even touched my holiday assignments, haven’t layed my hands on my lecture notes, haven’t done a wee bit of revision. The holidays didn’t feel like holidays at all!! Today I’ll have to go for band practice and come back exhausted. Tomorrow? I’ll have to wake up early, change into formal wear and work at Taka for an entire day, squandering my time away cos im not even allowed to bring anything into the shopping centre cos im staff. The day after, band practice again. And the day after the day after? Its Taka again. Like wth?!

So I wont get to do work at all ya? I won’t get to revise and consolidate like wad the tutors want us to do ya? I’m dead meat the moment I reach home nowadays. Seriously, I’d rather choose school. Cos im not obliged to work. I thought I wanted to give my mum a hand since she was busy enough. But now she’s demanding something from me that’s like totally out of my abilities. I’m a JC student for god’s sake! Which JC student works full time at the end of JC1 ?!?! I’ll fail A levels.

Ok fine. And so tonite I decided to tell her wad I really think about this entire situation. I told her truthfully that I was unable to work with her schedule anymore cos band prac’s getting more hectic by the day and the exco is also going to have a lot to do. I told her that I’ll be extremely irregular and also I’ll have no time left for revision (holidays are ending soon, for ur information). FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL, TESTS. So im supposed to continue working and neglect my studies for now? The hols are for me to juggle band and academics not band, work and academics. I’ll die doing that.

Guess wad I got for being honest? SARCASM. My mother was so pissed off with me she was like “fine! Dun do la dun do la. I knew it! I knew it long ago. You’re always the lazy one. Why ur sister can work but u cannot leh?” and it goes on and on. She makes it sound like it’s my fault. And im supposed to feel guilty tonight?! And for the rest of my holidays?! This is not the first time she’s blaming me for not finding a job already. Once right after O levels. Then, June holidays in JC1 when I WAS supposed to be studying for the Mid Yrs. And then, after Promos.

Someone please tell my mother, that holidays are extremely precious to a JC student.

I dunnoe… this juz sux. I hate it. I wanna work for my mum and help her out. It sounds like im disappointing her, but im really choiceless! I must commit to band, AND also finish my entire revision of the yr 1 syllabus. And is there even time left for work?!

Sigh.