Saturday, February 25, 2006

So... I'm like on OT here at the ministry. and today's a beautiful saturday which i shld have spent at home, rotting away or cultivating some adipose tissues. BUT, being the committed temporary corporate support officer i am, i've come down to join my fellow JAE team members in sorting out and checking the reports and listings for the post-sec postings.

I'm using one of the cubical desktops in the office now cos we're all getting bored waiting for the ITB reports to come out. (or maybe there won't be any, so we're just basically waiting for further instructions). It's been quite a nightmare yesterday as OT stretched till almost midnight. Was a wonderful experience tho, getting cranky and all. Sigh, but i missed dinner with ATP and friends. Missing them loads!

Ahh. and i heard yesterday there was a press release by the ministry, announcing my doomsday on the 1st of March. I'll be reporting for work on that day, then leaving my office in the afternoon to fly back to MJC to collect that piece of paper for doomsday participation, as well as to be showered by looks of pity from the world.

Sigh. I don't know. I really don't know how i'll respond to my results. I know i'm not going to do well, but deep down somewhere, i'm really still in denial. I'm hoping that somehow, SOMEHOW, some miracle will happen and i'll do relatively well. Like an AABB or something. Tiffany was telling me that she's having sleepless nights worrying bout the results. I think that's gonna happen to me real soon too.

What if i do very VERY badly? what if i FAIL A levels? What if i screwed up my GP? What if i get something like a CDFF, D7?

I won't know what to do. I won't know how to face my family and friends and tutors and all who've supported me all this while and expected me to do well. I won't know how to face this failure and climb up all over again. I won't know how to wake up from it. I won't forgive myself...

Sigh. I'm really hoping for the best. I hope my faith will not fail me this time. This wait is killing me... The suspension is really deadly.

Regret: sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Today I met a great new friend,

who knew me right away.

It was funny how he understood

All I had to say.

He listened to my problems,

he listened to my dreams.

We talked about life as if,

he'd been there too it seems.

I never once felt judged by him,

He knew just how i felt.

He seemsted to just accept me

and all the problems I'd been dealt.

He didn't interrupt me

or need to have his say.

He just listened very patiently

and didn't go away.

I wanted him to understand

how much that meant to me.

But as I went to hug him,

something startled me.

I put my arms in front of me

and meant to pull him nearer.

Then realised that my new best friend,

was nothing but a mirror...

Where is everyone else ?...

Mistake. An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.

Believe me.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Ahh. Hello to the world! I'm very happy to announce that i'm employed again. I'm currently AT WORK. and i'm working at the MINISTRY OF EDUCATION, PUPIL PLACEMENT SECTION, as an ADMIN ASSISTANT for the JAE Team. Wooo~ it's been really an eye opening experience. I never knew that so much logistics was involved prior to the release of the O Level results. So, er naturally, i'm kinda sick of looking at result slips, or FORM As, as we call it, in the office.

It's really NOT as easy as it sounds, "working in the MOE, eh? must be easy."

I feel more like a logistics assistant rather than an administrative one. Excluding the process of going through and checking thousands and thousands(not exaggerating) of reports, my job scope includes sealing envelopes, printing memos, carrying cartons of paper, and even searching for ONE result slip out of 5000+ private candidates at the Dispatch Room. Quite interesting, quite interestingly like hell. The energy exhaustion is really fatal.

SO. it's O level results day today! and the ministry's getting busy with setting up the registration system, placing staff in every station to welcome the excited Pre-U-to-be juniors. I'm, of course, stationed at this training room, a place we call [P2-5], with 4 walls and 30 computers. only. Results are currently not even out yet. So i'm left with nothing to do, except MSN Web Messenger, and Blogspot.

AAAAHHH and i heard huijun just called me for a job offer as a relief teacher at Beatty Sec. SUDDENLY all the good job offers surface. FYI, pay as a relief teacher rocks. BUT i'm down with MOE Admin. so damn it. urrrh.

Working at the ministry is cool though, like you get to have lunch at the Biopolis; this HUGE sci-tech research centre just next to the ministry, and which, i think, looks 10 times nicer than the ministry itself. though the ministry is very tall.

Good luck to everyone for their O level results! =) Remember to come down to Ministry to register even if you have internet at home! So i wont be bored. haha.

till again~