Sunday, June 26, 2005

Sometimes, you look at a person and you feel that you want to be better friends with him/her.

Sometimes, you feel close to a person, but to him/her the feeling is not even close to mutual.

Sometimes, you're in an event where you have to live with a group of people over a period of time, and you'll want to be the noisy, proactive one who goes around livening everything up. you make a total fool of urself and you try to crack hilarious jokes, act stupid and put up momentary happiness for your group. but at the end of the day, everyone else gets bonded, except you.

Sometimes, people do things like hang out together, and they leave you out. and they say they forgot. but "forgetting" shows how much you really mean to them.

Sometimes people say "hey are you alright, why're u looking so sad", but the next moment they're off having fun, probably forgetting the fact that you're unhappy.

Sometimes, you see a friend in need of something, but you just don't know what. and when you attempt to give him something, you get it all wrong. and your friendship blows, leaving you feeling all stupid.

Sometimes, you think that you have a very wide circle of friends, but ultimately, people see you as nothing more than an entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.

Sometimes, you yearn for friends who trust you with their innermost secrets, but because of your outgoing, noisy nature, people don't see the trustworthy side of you, and you really become a full time entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.

Sometimes when you feel tired of talking, and you keep quiet, people realise there's something wrong with you and they go "eh how come so quiet" because the "entertainer" in them has gone all quiet and they're not used to it. that's probably cos you're supposed to be the full time entertainer. a second choice. or maybe a last resort.

Sometimes, a message from a friend brightens your day up, but the next moment you realise that he didnt really mean it cos he forwarded it for the sake of forwarding it.

Sometimes you talk alot to make people laugh, out of the best of intentions. but when it gets slightly overboard, people see you as the main culprit.

Sometimes, you just feel that something like "friendship" is never real, but rather always superficial. because friends do not always respond to your calls and requests as spontaneously as ur mother or father or sister would.

Sometimes you wanna say something very very much, but you just cannot because you know that not saying it would leave the situation or person involved in a position much better off.

Sometimes, you want to hide in the room and cry out loud, but when the room door is locked up and you're all ready to cry, you just feel this sickening sensation that sends you hanging in between crying and not crying.

Sometimes you just know that people are better off with others instead of you, and you feel painfully upset about that. but you never want to do anything cos you just feel inferior.

Sometimes the pain becomes so unbearable...and you wanna call for help. But what recurs in ur thoughts is "Who will care?...", and you scroll down ur phone book aimlessly, meaninglessly.

Yeah, who will care, anyway?

Good luck for your Mid yr exams.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

ah. i thought i should just blog about mjcsb's second farewell bbq yesterday... was a lil too tired to post last night. so here goes..

First of all, three cheers for the Executive Committee 2005-2006 cos they've put in a GREAT DEAL of effort in planning this awesome farewell gathering... it was definitely a great success. oh, and not forgetting the really really sweet Certificate of Honorary Mention.. wow! haha.

shall not fill in the nitty gritty details of the whole bbq... apart from the very nicely barbequed food, i had a great time talking and gossiping with AGA (again) as well as the juniors.. felt kinda sad cos it's like we wont really have many of such chances to do this again.. no more excuses to stay out late cos of band pracs, no more hang-outs cos i'll need to spend time on preparing for the dreaded A levels... no more daily dosage of "bunnyhorse! you dun act cute ah!" from ms sia, no more "exco! meeting now ah.. hurry hurry, inside!" from joel... sigh!

then again, all good things must come to an end. [and bad things never seem to end that quickly]

an attempt to do a quick memory flashback now would give the following:
-"Band Number 4.... Meridian Junior College.... GOLD!"
-"YAY!!!!!! WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" *hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs*
-"Eh dance lah! please...?! ok if i guess your chinese name correctly you dance ok?" -huikoon
-"Nonsense lah!... *bish, smack your face"-sarah
-"Aiya die lah, see liao(die already) this time..AC only got gold! how how.."-siok wei
-"Eh, practise circle of fourths now ok?..u play with me.. ready.. 1...2...3...4..." -dawn
-"If you all find it funny, you all can jolly well get out of this room!" -justin
-"Ah.. no lah no lah! (sacarstically)" -rickson
-"....make me lose my breast" -jun yang on some song
-"wah... sss.... stress..." -xuanwei
-"Last night.... while we were all asleep... russel see-toh was murdered........disembodied kidney..."-joel on dial m for murder game briefing
-"Russel see-toh.. isit from F maths?"-zheng hong
-"Thanks lah." -kin lok
-"Or either way, we can play a mystery solving kind of game?" -fuquan during band camp preparation meeting
-"Juxtapose will be a successful concert.." -weejuay
-"Gold with honours lah! why gold only?"-vincent wang on our first exco meeting, when listing the goals of the band

these are jus some random thoughts that happened to show up now. obviously, if i were to list every bit of my memory blogspot would prob have to shut down cos of lack of server space. would try to do so tho, sometime after mid yr exams. a tribute to everyone in the band, again. a longer, more serious one to show my appreciation.

anyway, just before i sign off, would wanna thank junyang for his really really sweet gift. and poor xuanwei, who had to do stuff for all of us in the section. the badge thing he gave us was really really really really really really nice. it's simple, meaningful but brought back EVERYTHING in my memory. haha! i think ive understood what my art teacher in sec 2 used to say... "simplicity takes on the most sophisticated form of wonder". true, and thanks to xuanwei. you're such a nice junior...

anticipating: mid yr exams.

3 cheers to the current exco again~ =D the band's in good hands.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

it's been so long since i last got that sickening feeling. not exactly sickening... rather, annoying.

"hey benny... can i ask u something?..."

"yeah?"

"oh... erm... hmmm..... hey hang on."

---MOMENTS---

"oh haha! benny, yeah i think it's ok. dun need to ask already. thanks..."


no i'm not trying to get this at anyone, but it's just really annoying when this happens. it's one of those situations where u really anticipated something, but it turned out to be NOTHING at all.

ah, shall not elaborate. yeah.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Memories... =)

haha i randomly put my secondary school song. come to think of it, after not singing for like 1 year odd, it really sounds nice...

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

just came back from cchs band camp, and yeap. was supposedly going to sleep cos i lost sleep for the entire night. was talkin to long lost lianwei, quanming and chun kiat... oh well, but decided to do some blog reading instead, and read thru XUAN WEI'S, HUI KOON'S, SOO KUN'S, and WEE KIAT'S blogs, all describing the adventure-filled yesterday. so i thought i shall dedicate my thoughts as well...!

woot. yesterday, xuanwei, huikoon and sookun actually skipped lectures in the afternoon just for the seemingly long-anticipated "School Tour Series". was so exciting, as we started off from MJC and headed for TKGS. the walk in TKGS was so darn cool, cos the entire campus just feels so "demure & resolute", tho on the contrary to certain girls she produces (eg huikoon). seriously, the campus is basically centered on the Circular Block with loads and loads of rooms including the library, band room, music rooms, and ms sia's band office(Wow). oh, and the "old oak doors", as xuanwei puts it, as well as the red doormats outside every entrance/door makes the school look really really classy and elegant. also, the million and one pianos placed all over the place makes the school feel really pleasant, musical, and art-oriented. hah! everything was cool about TKGS, except that weird "i shouldnt be here" feeling, probably due to the strong oestrogen/progesterone presence. haha! TKGS Spirit~

and next was my dearest alma mater--CCHSM. weekiat joined us and we walked the long route into the estate, where my school is situated. they were generally awed by the magnificent presence of the campus and all the buildings, esp the admin block, as i brought them on a tour around the detention gallery, the offices, archive, grandstand, conference rooms. then, i briefly brought them through the technical block and the canteen+hall block, followed by the old classroom block. lastly, as huikoon has described it, the highlight of the tour in cchsm was the old CCA block. i brought them to the old deserted bio lab where the specimens were, and where the bats inhabited. 1 hour, we took. hah. shall not ring on and on cos it's pointless...the tour made me realise how much i've missed all this while in jc... sigh~ Today, you are proud of Chung Cheng. Tomorrow, Chung Cheng will be proud of you. but we have a good balance of yin and yang tho. =D

lastly, at like really really evening time, we went to visit Victoria School, henceforth referred to as VS. obviously, the guides for the VS tour were xuanwei and weekiat. it felt less uncomfortable cos it's like a testosterone inhabited school. the grand foyer was really small but magnificent, and the walk below the foyer was like some hotel lobby, really cool. but the beauty of the campus lies within the hidden architecture. my first impression was--"HOGWARTS". Stairs and connectors, pathways and corridors are EVERYWHERE and ANYWHERE. the hall built at some unexpected place, making it look ultra ultra cool. and there are LIFTS mind you. the sea view from the classrooms at the 7th story were magnificent. and the coolest is that long pond thing that runs in the spine of the campus. deep within the heart of VS. haha. (i sound like im the designer trying to promote it). it was overwhelming, so much so that i really cant recall how it all went. my reactions to the campus was just spontaneous. oh, one more thing i remember. storey 5 assembly plaza-- Nil Sine Labore.

but nothing was thrilling until the end, as all movies are. we were locked up inside the campus, and the ground floor was so near yet so far. we were just one flight of stairs away from the ground. but the shutter was down, exactly at 7pm. and then we actually had to jump off the parapet at the stairway like about 2+ metres high. hah~ i conquered it, despite initial fears of shattering bones. never in my life, ive done anything of this sort cos cchs was never locked until the caretaker goes around checking for remaining souls. and so did huikoon and sookun and weekiat and xuanwei, they all jumped off the parapet. nothing to xuanwei i guess, he's such an experienced victorian. minor abrasions on my cheek. dah~

and so that ended the "School Tour Series" of this Marine Parade-Katong area secondary schools. was really fun and exciting, literally. got to learn so much more bout each other's schools. a kind of bonding i guess? a step towards making closer friends, sharing pieces of our memories with everyone.. wouldnt mind having it again, be it touring the same schools or not. heh.

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ah, good things don't come alone. i had to end up climbing the school gate to get into cchs in the middle of the nite last night cos we sneaked out for supper and came back only to face the LOCKED school gate, and the teacher in charge fast asleep. ;D that's climbing across or over stuff twice in a day.

I hope xuanwei, huikoon, sookun and weekiat had fun. cos i did.

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