benny. on 12:35 AM
Saturday, March 12, 2005
MJC's 1st ever A levels results were out last week(i think). sometime around last week or the week before. Well marvelous, remarkable sparkling results for a first batch of students i guess. 51 students with straight A's with an intake of L1R5 no where better than 13 points, i suppose the college has to an extent added value in our students. Kudos to the teachers and Ms Lai for their efforts. Im proud of MJC. Something that is against the law(but what the heck): What's 11+9-10+1 equals to? haha. MJC!
Pulled back to reality from all the immersing in our seniors' joy of getting back good A level results. Seriously when i come to think of it now, how well the college does has got no direct impact on my life. It's really my A level results that matter. and so, i tell myself to work hard. sickening life. and then i end up barely catching up with tutorials and stuff like that. sigh. now im not even able to express myself properly. juz really really sick and tired of everything right now. a routine life. classmates who are doing so much better than me. choices to make from day to day. uncommitted band members. comments that demoralise me. things pple say that shake my faith and beliefs. my ability to procrastinate time and again. my piling stack of work. the march block tests. pple's attitude towards band practices. bad attendance. my own playing. the facade ive to put on day in day out in that unfeeling campus. the arguments between friends. the little things that never used to happen between people. the fact that i'm not losing weight. the fact that i cannot run fast enough to pass physical fitness test. the fact that my closest friends no longer feel close to me. you know, tired as in really can no longer bear this unbearable mundane life. sigh. tiding thru this period of academic life would probably be the greatest achievement in these 12 years of education.
As it is, the harsh reality of SYF drawing near is inevitable. months ago. okay, a yr ago, the exco sat down for our first meeting. and the first thing on the agenda was about doing well for SYF. we laid down everything we wanted the band to do, and formed solid stepping stones for which our members could step on, while reaching for that Gold medal we long for, very dearly. wad saddens me is that it seems like the only people are the exco who's thinking so idealistically for the band. and probably a few more extremely committed members (whom i really appreciate). as for a significant number of the rest, it's disappointing to even see your attitude towards band practices.
Seriously. this whole achievement thing is largely and truely a cyclical process. What goes will come back eventually. yes. it's not guarunteed that the band will perform well for SYF, and yes you'll say "there goes our points and all those few practices that i've attended are wasted ". precisely why. you attend practices as and when you deem as a "i should attend band" day, inconsistent appearance at band practices etc etc etc. how are we going to even have a chance to do well? and what's gonna happen? you walk out of Singapore Conference Hall telling the world that you're from Meridian Junior College Symphonic Band, and that it's actually a lousy band? it really reflects on how matured you are when you make such comments and sneer at the band you actually belong to. you blame the band for not getting a Gold medal when you ARE a band member yourself. i thoroughly look down on people who are like that. you wanna talk big, you show your efforts. if not then shut your freakin gap and probably get lost.
Im too tired to continue analysing this whole situation. At this point of time, i just wanna let all of you know that getting a Gold medal during SYF WILL mean alot to a real bandsman. They glory and pride you enjoy after you succeed from all the hard work is beyond description. Unless you're one, don't interfere in MJCSB's journey in scoring well for the competition. It will be pointless to send half hearted players into the competition. The results will be greatly affected, and it's going to affect everyone else except you. Stop doing whatever you think you have the liberty to do, because it's extremely unfair for people who fulfil way beyond the 80% attendance requirement. Anyway, Band practice is not all about attendance only. It's about learning and putting your heart and will into it to create music.
to the rest of my members, we're already behind other colleges by almost 2 months. the gold medal could have been much closer. but we're set back in our efforts. i really really hope that you'll continue believing in ourselves, and yourselves, and in our possibility to score really well in our first SYF Central Judging.
i'll be back.
peace out.
benny. on 11:40 PM
