Thursday, October 07, 2004
Fun.

Hey all! after 2 super depressing, mind boggling, high information density weeks, i'm back after the promotional exams! yup. after econs paper today i went to PASTAMANIA with kha and fei... and met xiufeng who's working there! haha. hey girl! thanks for the encouragements. den met junjie, luther and tiffany + gang. haha super cool eh, go to town in the evening. Do what? Hang around and do sth stupid.

Well... i dunnoe if i should really rejoice that promos are over cos i seriously do not think that i'll do well. or not even close to well. might not even promote! goodness. sigh. dunnoe. but its like next week college's filled with post-promo activities, wonder if i will even be interested in playing. i'm so darned worried about my results now. its like..the more i think about it, the more i feel that i'd even fail Biology, which happens to be my strongest subject. its like i didn't really finish the paper. come to think of it, i didnt really finish any paper, except for econs. sigh... wonder wad i'll do if i cant promote. i dunnoe. but wads the use of feeling depressed now? wads the point? yah. that's the question i'll ask myself, but continue to feel depressed about everything.

thanks kha, thanks fei! had a wonderful day out with u gals. i'll look forward to more of those. if we get to know that all 3 of us promotes, let's go for another outing k? this time with xiao she zi. =D

i realised that you do not need everyone to be by your side to make u happy. you just need one friend, who truely cares for you. who truely wants to be around to tide you thru ur hardest times. i also realised that a very simple sms from someone whom you haven't seen for half a year can brighten your day up alot. here, thanks to Eugene Seah, my buddy for 1st 3 months in MJC. i miss his presence, his jokes, his nice personality. he's one of the few nicest pple i've ever met. good luck eugene! for ur coming exams.

Sigh. i wonder what i've done to my life. i wonder what the environment has done to me. i feel so empty. so pointless to live. so meaningless cos everything i do, i have a certain MOTIVE. i hate it. i hate to do things with a motive cos i want MEANING in what i do, not MOTIVE. i dunnoe... i can act really bimbotic at times, act super stupid in front of pple, try to keep up the image of an enthusiastic individual, but results in zero satisfaction. I feel as though im living for an image, for an impression to be made. Sigh.

Tiff, have i changed from the benny you used to know?