Thursday, September 02, 2004
Sigh!

|[.D|hYdRoXyAcEtOnE.]|
Today was a terrible day for a start... sigh. I was scolded during band prac when i didnt even talk!

Am i even fit to be a leader? I feel so useless now... so... empty inside. its like a bucket without water... you try to feel somethin but that somethin's juz not there. I feel so helpless inside out. I feel helpless everyday. I can do nothing when the band spirit is actually going downhill. I can propose nothing to help in the improvement of the band. It juz sux. Im not good in music, not good in studies, fat, ugly and what have you. argh. shitified. Desperate. Sad. Depressed.

Wendy mei has been feeling really low lately. Cos of CCHS Band stuff... I tried to talk her out based alot on my experience in the band but apparently, as she described, its the mentality of the band members now that are changing. I feel so useless again. Like what can i do to help? Time and again i tell the juniors to tap on alumni resources when they see problems, but here they are and im at a lost as to how to give what advice. i feel so crapped up.. ARGH. Sigh. I need to talk... i need someone badly to talk to...

She's attached.

She's busy with friends.

He's juz got scolded by his daddy.

Like who else can i talk to?

**Period of Low Self Esteem*


Life is so screwed up. I failed my chem test like AGAIN. and there's a maths test on applications of differentiation and integration this saturday. And im not in the least prepared for it. And ive got a GP comprehension to do. And 2 econs essays to do. and Promos is in a month. and a whole load of econs revision package exercises to complete. and college open house and band tune in. and sectionals and end year band concert Juxtapose! and SYF next year. ARRRHHH.

I juz need. a break.

Who's going to give me one?